There's a reason why, as authors, we call it the writing cave. For the most part it's because we need to work in a controlled environment. The type of environment depends on the author but, in general, we need to be left alone. We need distractions to be limited and few and far between.
However, reality is typically less than stellar. When my office was in rooms without a door, my family didn't understand when I'd get aggravated. Every time they interrupted me -- not always for a good reason -- I'd have to start over with my centering process. Now that I have a newly remodeled room with a door, things are a bit better. But I still put a warning sign on my door that say, "Author at Work: Enter and I will write you into my books or swallow your soul -- just depends on my mood." This being said, when I talk about my muse, it is more a state of mind. Music playing on repeat keeps the room from being too silent but with the repeat it allows me to tune it out. It's just background noise. Sometimes though, I do listen to specific songs which I feel make a difference in the writing of extremely emotional or action packed scenes. Temperature of the room... can't be too cold or too hot. At times I prefer good lighting and at others a bit darker and more cave-like. Basically, it just depends on my mood that day. It's always about the mood. All of this to say, our caves become a den of artistic expression. I fill mine with things that make me happy. Lots of books, of course, and other things that make me happy. I have a ton of collectible items that make me smile and other things that bring back memories of great times, family, and friends. Now if I could just get this place organized. XOXOXO Josette
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If you follow me on Facebook, you know that I had a bit of an issue when I went to the store the other day. [I posted a live video on my group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/JandSRebelliousOnes/) in which I discussed my stance on wearing face masks and also an incident that spurred me into posting the video.
In case you missed it, here's the quick and dirty details. I was in line at Kroger and a gentleman and his friend were in line in front of me. From what I couldn't help but overhear, it appeared that the friend (who was wearing a mask) and the other (who was not) were arguing about the wearing of masks. I had the feeling his friend had told him he should be wearing one. Please note, at a previous store I had heard some discussion about the fact that local businesses were going to be requiring face masks to be worn in order to enter their businesses -- I later learned that several major retailers are requiring the wearing of masks to enter their stores. I'm not sure if this is just in Ohio or nationwide. Either way, they were in a heated discussion. I tend to have a live-and-let-live attitude in most cases. I do strongly believe that everyone should wear a mask if they are in public -- it just makes sense to me for several reasons which I won't go into right now -- as well as, continuing to practice social distancing. So, even though I have these beliefs and feel a bit uncomfortable around those who don't seem to agree with either belief, I keep my thoughts to myself. This is not something that many who are against the wearing of masks seems to comprehend. I say this because of the strange looks I've received since the beginning when wearing my mask and the very loudly voiced criticism against the wearing of masks that have been common place. Normally, I can let these actions slid off my back and go about my day. However, I will state here that going to town to do our shopping is an extremely stressful endeavor that leaves me exhausted and mentally stressed. Due to my social anxiety, trips out into public can cause me issues that last throughout the evening and into the next day. It was this way before Covid-19, but since Covid-19 arrived on the scene this has been exacerbated to the nth degree. So back to the situation with the men at Kroger. This gentleman in the middle of his argument turned to me and stated, "She looks damn terrified." To many I'm sure that doesn't seem like something to bat an eye at but you have to understand, when struggling with social anxiety, you don't want attention from strangers; especially, argumentative men. I struggled for several moments and stared at him in shock for pulling me into his situation. Then his friend finished his purchase, they left, and I was able to check out. After making a few other stops, I decided to do the live video on Facebook and explain my stance on mask wearing. It wasn't until I got home a bit later that I realized how much it had all really impacted me. I was angry, frightened, and on the verge of tears as I sat and chatted with a friend about the situation. A friend who does not agree with the wearing of masks. They listened and allowed me to vent. However, I don't think they truly understood the ramifications that interaction at the grocery store had on me and my mental state. My mind was a chaotic mess as I struggled to figure out why it bothered me so much. There are some facts that I am hesitant to state publicly in fear of backlash. So, I'm going to leave that part of the discussion alone. However, with the climate in my local community and the nation, I wasn't sure what would have happened if I had spoken up and said something to him. He wasn't a large man, but I was pretty sure he was stronger than me. He was definitely very vocal and had no problem of letting everyone know his thoughts. While he'd been arguing with his friend he had moved around the area and forced me to take a few steps back in order to keep the required 6-feet between us, so he had no concern for my safety or his own. Many people would have spoken up but I was terrified that if I said anything the situation would have went from a small rant to nuclear proportions very quickly. This is the world I live in every time I step out of my door. And, this particular incident has left my mind in a chaotic tangle which caused me to be emotionally unable to do much over the days after. So, why blog about this? I'm not sure other than to bring awareness... to encourage you to really think about wearing a mask, practice social distancing, and if you don't want to do either... please respect others that choose to do so. I have people I want to be able to see without bringing them Covid-19 germs which they won't be able to fight off. I also want to live long enough to see my granddaughter grow up, and I'm not sure if my body would be able to fight off the virus. We often do things for the good of others, so why is it so difficult to wear a face mask and keep distance between each other? It's not just about your discomfort, it's about the fact that we are dealing with a virus for which we are just beginning to learn anything. It's about adding a layer of protection that may or may not be effective but allows some of us to feel more secure. It's about coming together as a community and doing things for the good of all. Just so you know, I already order many items online so I can limit the amount of time I need to be out. And now, I'm thinking of using the order and pick up options at the grocery stores. My goal is going to be to limit my time in public and to keep everything as contactless as possible. Thanks for reading my thoughts. Sending hugs. Be Safe and Be Kind. XOXOXO, Josette It seems I struggle more than not. One day I'm riding a high and getting a lot done and the next it feels like I have to push myself just to get out of bed. The roughest part of dealing with depression and anxiety... when others don't understand. How many times have I been told to suck it up and get over myself? So many I lost count.
With Covid-19 preventing me from visiting my daughter, son-in-law, and the new baby until the weekend of the 4th of July, I suffered with a lot of sadness. I hated not being there for my daughter. When I'd talk to her and she'd tell me her fears, fears only another mother would understand, fears only her mother could reassure her about, it broke my heart that I couldn't immediately pack up the car and make the five hour drive. Then of course, there is the wearing of face masks and the other political unrest in our country. However, I was able to shield myself from a lot of the negativity. My doctor advised me to ignore the news and to concentrate on myself and happier things. With a high-level of empathy, seeing others hurt and how hateful some people can be affects me deeply. And the cancellation of several book events left me wallowing in a deep well of loneliness. It takes a lot out of me to travel and put myself out there for readers but I also get a refuel from spending time with so many like-minded individuals. I have met so many amazing authors and several I can call true friends. So, even though I understand about the cancellation of the events, it's still sad that I haven't been able to get away and talk books. So, even though I've been sequestered mostly at home, I'm way behind on what I had hoped to have done by this point of 2020. Insert disapproval at my lack of words written and the weight I've gained since last summer. For many, all of that would have pushed them to work harder, to get out there and lose the weight, to do so many other things. But for someone like me, I find myself struggling to keep my head above water. I know what I should be doing but doing those things is easy to push off when you have little energy. It's easy to say, I'm a lazy lump... why try to be anything else? So next time you see someone struggling, please don't tell them to suck it up. In many cases they can't and will only think less of themselves for not being able to do it. Be safe. Be kind. Take a moment to step into their shoes. XOXOXO Josette
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AuthorJosette is a storyteller, artist, wife, mother, and grandmother. Archives
April 2023
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